Friday 25 July 2008

Health and Safety

As a breed, I don't much care for restaurant owners. They promise so much and deliver so little. Most humans will walk by a cafe, catch a whiff of bacon being fried and think "how delicious". Well you may have noticed that we Westies have a rather more acute sense of smell than your average hominid. To put that in context, on a typical tree stump in Ferryhill I personally can detect an average of twenty different marks left there by my canine neighbours. To Gail, it just smells of tree. So imagine what it means to me to walk past those wonderful aromas emanating from the kitchen of a nice restaurant.

And walking past is inevitably what it comes to. Past not in. Oh Gail will sometimes go in. Quite often actually. But do I get invited to join her? You know the answer. Apparently the reason I'm left tied up outside is 'health and safety laws'. I think this means that I'm somehow considered dirty. What an insult! You should see some of the people they let in restaurants. Kids especially - snivelling noses, grubby hands, and what a noise..... And when peeking in through the door, I've notice so many people leave half their food on the plate. What an insult to the chef. I'd never do that (well carrots maybe).

I look cute, I have good personal hygiene (mostly), I don't make a lot of noise (ditto), I would be a deeply, deeply appreciative customer. Little girls like to stroke me. As the Americans say 'what's not to like'. On rare occasions, we find a cafe or pub where dogs are welcome, where the person in charge has the spine, or common sense, to ignore these famous so-called 'health and safety' laws. A nice coffee shop on the main street of Grantown-on-Spey comes to mind.

Fellow Westies, we should start a campaign!

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