Monday, 23 November 2009

Discovering my inner Victor Meldrew...


You may have noticed I've been quiet this last week. And maybe even wondered why. I'm not normally one to suffer in silence after all.

Well let me tell you, I've been having a perfectly dreadful time recently. You just won't believe how badly things have been going. How can people do this to me?

As if it's not bad enough that I'm getting old, and deaf, and my paws keep itching. And it's cold and dark and wet outside, and I have to do SO much barking before I can persuade anyone to take me for a walk. And Gail is SO selfish because although she's at home most of the time just at the moment, she pretends she has to 'work' on the computer and ignores my needs...

Yes, and as if all that wasn't enough, I then get driven off to some farm place and stuck in a cage for five whole days, abandoned by Gail and surrounded by other dogs who bark even more than I do. A chap just couldn't get a moment's peace. Can you believe it? This has never happened before. WHAT DID I DO WRONG??? Oh. Gail is bringing up that old gripe about me having bitten one of my carers when she went away in September. But that incident was AGES ago. Surely, isn't it time we forgot all about it? Let bygones be bygones? Please?

Well I'm now back home but feeling thoroughly out of sorts. The whole world is against me. Today, I am unapologetically a GRUMPY OLD MAN.

*With apologies to non-British readers who may not be familiar with the old BBC comedy "One Foot in the Grave"


Martha said...

Och Hamish, how dreadful! What on earth is Gail thinking of?
Surely they are not going to hold the odd bite against you - especially given the mitigating circumstances that you so eloquently put forward at the time.
Next time Gail is thinking of abondoning you just you jump in a train and head down country to us.
We are sure Bailey will be able to budge up from her prime position in front of the fire.
Love and kisses
Martha & bailey xxx

Rufus and Indie said...

Hi Hamish!
You have a lot to do! Sometimes humans can be so confusing!
You have our total support!

Rufus and Indie

Rocky Creek Scotties and Rocky Creek Ramblings said...

You just gotta do what you gotta do.

Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Java

PS- come by and visit - we have a short contest going.

Stella said...

Sorry for your troubles, Hamish. It is an act of finality, but perhaps you should re-home Gail and move someone else in in her place. Someone perhaps more sympatico to an elderly dog. A Farm! in a cage! Imagine that.

Give it some thought!


Unknown said...

Och aye is right! You were sent away to jail without a trial or jury. The nerve. Do we need to start a Free Hamish movement? Post bail bonds? Say the word, pal. (Remember "Gail" and "Jail" are just a letter apart)

Your pal,


Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh dare Gail! What was she thinking? I bet if you start screaming at home she will say quiet. Just like our momma. Humans!
Benny & Lily

Maxmom said...

Hamish, dear Hamish
Wow you really are in the doldrums, aren't you!?! I've got good news for you...Doggies have FOUR feet, so 'one foot in the grave' means NOTHING! (Tell Gail, we SA's are very familiar with that series).
Chin up! Keep up the Celtic spirit

Anonymous said...

Good Gravy Hamish -- Sorry, I've got Thanksgiving on my mind over here across the pond. We don't even use gravy, so I don't know why I even brought it up. I guess I'm just stunned that Gail put you in a cage. Did she think that it was some kind of "nesting instinct" thing she had to do???? You'll be OK. Just don't let her know how OK you really are. Limp a little, wimper a lot and put those ears down. That'll work.... A guilt trip never hurt anybody. And we terriers do it so well!!

Roo Roo,

ScrapsofMe said...

Oh Hamish, say its not so!!! Gail didn't have the nice ladies stop over and take you walkies? She put you in a kennel with strange barking dogs? Maybe you need to come to Flori-duh for a while and warm up? Without her! I know what you mean about the itchy feeties. It's been raining here for a looong time and when I get my feeties wet, they get itchy. Puffy has booties, but I don't have any yet. Maybe this would be a good Christmas pressie for you. I know you have that Scots thingy going on about being stoic and not wearing fru-fru stuff, but booties are a good thing. Heck, even those butt-nekked Scots in the kilties wear foot coverings of some kind. Cheer up dear friend. You've a lot of wonderful years to share the love.
I'm thankful you are my friend.