Monday, 23 March 2009

Badger patrol

I've just been down South for a few days, on important business.

Some humans think badgers are cute and cuddly. Not so Gail's Dad. To him they are the enemy, ever poised to invade the garden and deface his lovingly nurtured and perfectly manicured lawn. 

So when I visit him in his tidy suburban home in Nottingham, the first thing that happens is I go out and conduct a border patrol. I carefully check the garden perimeter, identifying any potential breaches in security that might lead to incursions by the local Mr Brock and his friends and relatives. At the more vulnerable points, there is barbed wire buried under the hedge (I kid you not) so I have to be careful not to investigate too deeply in the wrong spot. 

Having validated the integrity of the boundaries, I sweep the rest of the garden, using my prime asset, my nose, for evidence of the enemy, and alert Gail's Dad to signs of recent badger presence by rolling enthusiastically on any ground that smells 'interesting'. 

Now as regular readers of this blog will know, I consider myself a gentleman of leisure, not a working dog, and generally expect to be kept in fitting luxury by Gail without undue exertion on my part (especially now that I am a bona fido film star - see Petey's blog). So why make an exception for Gail's Dad? Well first off, he's a very nice man, and even older than me, so deserving of respect. 

And then of course there is the small matter of remuneration offered, a reliable supply of proper meaty bones. YUM!


Martha said...

Hi Hamish
We are pleased to see you are working hard whilst visiting extended family.
We do not know a lot about badgers but confess to being a bit worried about the barbed wire!
We were glad that you were careful. We trust you avoided peeing or pooing on the lawn! It is good that you are kept with a good supply of treats for your dangerous task. If you need any help with sniffing the badgers out just let us know.
Martha & Bailey xx

Penny said...

Hay Hamish, I was very interested in your new post.When I go walkies with my owner I always see these deep holes in the ground my owner tells me they are badger sets but she never lets me down into them to investigate! I've never seen a'BADGER' before but now I know what they look like from the picture you posted! So thank you very much! please check out my new blog and leave a comment thanks! Sloppy licks,Penny.

Arran, Arthur and Mum said...

Hi Hamish,
Sounds like you got your work cut out over there. hm. As long as them meaty bones keep coming I guess it ok. Let us know if you apprehend any badgers.
~lickies, Ludo

Stella said...

Hamish, they are very scary, mean guys if you should get nose to nose with one. Badgers are good things to keep far away from.


Penny said...

WOW Hamish you really do get around alot your lucky! That Gail must be very good to you! Thanks for leaving me a comment hope you leave many more!:] Have a fantastic train journey! Oh and being an Irish westie I couldnt go without asking what you thought of our rugby match/(GRAND SLAM) on Saturday?!?!?!?:]

Anonymous said...

sorry Hamish if your looking at the comments on my blog and your wondering why I sent that comment to myself its because im new to all this stuff and I juust have to get used to it! Hope you got my comment Please write back to me soon! Lots of sloppy licks,Penny!=]

Dughallmor Beagles said...

Ooh, what a lovely lawn to roll on, dig up and decorate with yellow spots! You should have said Hamish, we could have assisted you! You be careful of those nasty Badgers, won't you? You have to stay fit for your next romp in Roseisle....and your next venture into the world of film :D Congratulations on your fantastic performance in Beagadoon, you really were perfectly cast!
Enjoy your bone supply...we could help with that too....*drools*
Slobbers, oh wise one xx

Anonymous said...

Hi Hamish!
I dont understand the whole rugby thing myself,I was just delighted they won,I dont usually watch it because I tend to nod off for a bit of a sleep half way through it:] Hope Gail's parents come back to Ireland sometime and maybe you could sneek your way on to the plane too,just to have a sniff around Ireland and maybe we could get digging some shamrocks! I have to say I would love to go visiting our native Scotland aswell sometime,probably never happen though:[ Blog soon,Penny!

Honey said...

Careful there Hamish! Not nice fellas, those badgers.
But, looked like you did great work on Badger patrol!
Cheers, Honey (13 yo golden)